thedarkdesign

So well.. a few days ago.. I noticed that the floor was wet in the morning when I woke up.. I also noticed all the juice was gone from the fridge.. figures.. I have to let the kids know that they can't have any applejuice for lunch, milk will have to do.. well so then I noticed everytime I buy more juice that the same thing happens.. the next morning the whole floor is wet, and all the juice is gone.. so I stayed up late one night after having bought some juice.. around midnight I hear the sound of the faucet running and overflowing down onto the floor.. and as I get up and make my way into the living room, what do I see?? Avalon and Zaid have this "Little People" Fisher Price Noah's Ark thing.. and it's floating down the hallway with a Jolly Roger flag!! Damn it! I should have known! JUICE PIRATES!! Argggggh! They must have overthrown Noah and his Little People and stolen their ship.. and their dignity. I angrily slosh over to the boat full of mini-pirates and pick it up and demand to know what's going on. They yell something like "OMG it's a kraken! WTF!" and I tell them again, they had better tell me what the hell is going on or I'm taking their 2" tall asses and dropping them in the toilet and letting loose on them.. I think they got the picture.. they state that they are indeed Juice Pirates and that they must set sail around and pilfer juice from us.. well.. I ask them why they had to flood the damn house to do so.. well.. they can't sail if there's no water.. bloody pirates.. JUST ASK FOR THE DAMN JUICE!.. but no.. so after an hour or so of talking we strike a bargain.. I'll leave the guest bath full of water everynight so they can take their scavenged ship in their.. I'll buy a few 20oz bottles of juice and walk in and pretend to be frightened and drop the juice and run.. thus keeping my house dry and letting them "save face"...

To summarize......



Fucking juice pirates.. I swear to god man.

I'm in a bad mood. You know this stupid journal would actually be useful if I could vent into it.. instead I'll just leave you with some random funny shit.

Bloody mondays! I found out this morning that I needed to go to one of my company's sites in Florence, which is about 2 hours from here, to do some work at their site. I figured that I'd have to leave by about 2:30 to get back here in time to "relieve" Sherri of kid duty so she could go to work.. and.. perhaps "tag in" would be more appropriate?.. as they tackled me shortly after arriving home. :) .. But.. nothing is ever that easy is it? I didn't even finish the few things that I actually had to do there, as everytime I needed to get to an office or have someone login and verify something, they had walked off or left the building entirely or beamed off to another planet.. or something like that. Point is, I'm going to have to go back on Friday. Anyway, so I actually did manage to leave at 2:30 however, although in a typical "It's a monday" fashion, nearly every travel inconvenience imaginable happened. It began storming right after leaving Florence, horrifically might I add, to the point where every vehicle in front of me was going about 45mph and you could only see about 10 feet ahead of you. Then there was the side-by-side semi-trailer trucks that couldn't seem to even go the speed limit, there were "rubberneckers".. the bane of travelers everywhere. Did I forget to mention I stopped at Every single stoplight in town? I think it's a conspiracy. Armies of red ants have infiltrated the traffic network and interfaced with the system, controlling all lights and thereby causing me annoyance.. In retrospect I did murder ants by the bajillions when I was younger, though their idea of revenge for acts of genocide is hardly fitting.. but still annoying! Damn you bloody gruntbuggling ants! Gabbleblotchit, I implore thee, invoke mine spoon with venchit power to umm.. well.. like kill ants or something? Totally.... SPOON!!!!... 

And for those non-geeks.. you probably have no idea what in the bloody hell I'm talking about most of the time and it's ok.. 

..neither do I.



To make a point out of what I was just rambling about, I ended up being about 15 minutes late.. I found the day to be completely frustrating and despite my best efforts, I was not only late, but will have to make the trip again to continue my work.. if only I had keys to the whole bloody place. And to make matters worse, my wife is upset with me due to my tardiness, though I do not consider it to be negligence on my part, though I do not deny my being late.. I hate mondays..... and ants. Demon spawn they are. Where's my spoon?

And on an ant note, why wouldn't they have just created a MASER cannon inside of the stop light.. I mean.. they'd have me at a red light, pretty much a sitting duck, where they could just roast me alive like an ant under a magnifying glass... oh.. haha.. maybe I shouldn't give them ideas... they probably read this.. *eyes shift around*

On a different note, Sherri and I stayed up last night watching the pilot episode ("Caretaker") of Star Trek: Voyager, until about Midnight-thirty.. or "12:30" if you want to be all boring and stuff. Despite having watched all of the original Star Trek, TNG, and DS9 episodes (and most of the Star Trek: Enterprise)  I had never really watched Star Trek: Voyager before, I had caught parts of episodes a few times but never really had the time to watch it. Although somewhat unusual, the pilot wasn't half bad and as soon as I'm done re-watching TNG, I'll probably start watching it regularly. 

On a side note to my "On a different note", Sherri absolutely abhors the theme song to Patch Adams.. err... Star Trek: Enterprise.. which I find funny, even though I concur that the song is entirely unfitting to the show.

On a note unrelated to my previous notes, I need to find some Punisher underpants, and yes, I said underpants because it is %15 funnier than underwear. So keep an eye peeled... and while it's peeled make sure to look out for punisher underpants... and evil ants.

Well.. this is my boring first post on this new journal. I've decided I'm going to rewatch all of the Star Trek: The Next Generation episodes, since the last time I saw most of them I was in junior high or elementary. YES! I am that freakin' old.. Can you believe they started airing in 1987? Damn. It's amazing to see how much they have all changed over the (21!) years. Sherri and I recently watched "Superhero movie" in which Brent Spiner (Data from TNG) plays a parody of Ron Perkin's character Dr. Stromm from the first Spiderman movie. It's hard to believe he's almost 60 now. 

Anyway, for those of you (as if anyone is reading this) who may wonder what "The Dark Design" means, it's actually a rather obscure comic book about dark anti-heroes Ghost Rider, The Punisher, and Wolverine and how close they walk the knife's edge, plus it also features Mephisto and Blackheart. Anyway, I'm off to do some other rather geeky nonsensical jibber jabber and all that jazz.